


War Of The Coprophages

by 30xf



Series: 201 Days Of X Files [60]
Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 13:53:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5969491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/30xf/pseuds/30xf





	War Of The Coprophages

Mulder sighed and reached for his phone. After a quick check of his watch, he set it back on the coffee table. He hadn't realized it was after midnight already. There was a good chance Scully was asleep, and he'd disturbed her enough with all the cockroach business. For the second time in as many hours, he considered his VHS collection, and was only slightly concerned that he wasn't in the mood for any of his 'good' videos. He flipped through every TV channel, but found nothing worth watching. He picked up the phone again, intending to order pizza, but dialed Scully's number instead. His boredom outweighed any risk he was taking.

She picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Did I wake you?" he asked, lying back and putting his feet up on the couch.

"Nah, I just got out of the shower," she said, the last couple words distorted by a yawn.

As it occasionally did, the thought of Scully in the shower stirred something inside him he chose to ignore. He cleared his throat and asked, "Another shower?" They'd both showered, out of necessity, before leaving Miller's Grove.

"Yes, another shower. And I had a bath a little while ago."

Another thought for him to ignore. "Jesus, Scully, you're gonna use all the hot water in your building."

"Mulder," she sighed. "We were literally covered in shit this morning."

He laughed, "I recall that. But the one shower pretty much did the trick." Now that he was thinking about it though, he had periodically smelled manure since he'd been home. He sat up and started to discreetly smell himself. 

"I know it did, I just feel much better now." 

Mulder heard rustling on her end of the phone. "Getting ready for bed?" he asked.

"Feeding the dog first."

"Hey, is that ratty thing any good at catching bugs?"

"He's a dog, not a cat."

"So no then?"

"Wasn't your apartment just fumigated?" Scully asked. 

Mulder sighed, "Yeah. And I've killed three cockroaches since I've been home. I'm gonna bitch to the landlord in the morning."

"Gross. Check your bed before you get in it," she warned.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd used his bed. His bedroom had served as a storage room pretty much since he'd moved in. It was a good thing there were two doors for the bathroom, so Scully had never been subjected to his clutter. "I'm sleeping on the couch," he simply told her.

"Well, check that too. And make sure you sleep with your mouth closed."

He started looking around, checking to see if anything was moving on the couch. "You're freaking me out a little here, Scully."

She gave a small laugh, "Sorry."

"I keep seeing things moving out of the corner of my eye. And I think I might still smell," he confessed. He got up and headed to the bathroom, pulling out a clean towel and setting it on the counter.

"Ewwwwwwwwwww," she breathed out quietly. Mulder wasn't sure if he was supposed to hear it or not. 

"I guess I better have another shower too," he sighed, sitting on the edge of the tub. "You sure that dog of yours isn't any good with bugs?"

"I have no idea, honestly. But there's cockroaches there and you smell like poop. No part of that makes me want to drive all the way over there at this time of night. Or any time, really."

"Fair enough," he chuckled. "I'll let you get to bed then."

But she didn't say anything for a moment, so he waited. "Now you've got me thinking about bugs," she said. He heard the dog's collar near the phone and wondered if Scully let that thing sleep with her. "It might be a while before I get to sleep."

"Up for making that drive after all?" Mulder smiled, kicking off his shoes and pulling his socks off.

Scully laughed, "Not a chance. But, as far as I know, my place is bug free, if you want to come over hear. Once you smell better, of course."

"You're too good to me, Scully," he told her, standing and pushing the shower curtain back. He untucked his shirt and unbuckled his belt. He didn't want to waste any time in getting out of his place.

"I know," she sighed. "Pick up a pizza on your way," she instructed before hanging up.


End file.
